Dogs have two ways to deal with fear: fight or flight. When I first met Kaani, he was leashed—he chose fight because he couldn’t get away. He never hurt me, but wanted me to know he meant business.
Once I got him into a larger area, he chose flight. He would run away and cower in a corner somewhere. His favorite place was his crate—his safe place.
When I opened his crate to take him on potty breaks, he varied between the two. Sometimes, he would squish to the back of the crate, and other times he’d lunge toward the door.
Interestingly, he always let me hold his leash without a problem. I just had to leave the crate door open for 5–10 minutes while I waited for him to come out into the room. I think that once we got outside, I was less terrifying than his surroundings.
How to identify a scared dog
There are a lot of very obvious signs that a dog is uncomfortable—like tail tucking or flat ears and ducking away. But then there are some less obvious signs:
- whale eyes (the whites of their eyes shows)
- stiffened or tense posture
- raised hackles
- large pupils
- exaggerated yawning
Tips for gaining trust
I can’t say this enough—take it slow. Everything needs to be done on the dog’s time. Assume everything is new to the dog. Something so simple, like a large hat, could spook the dog because he wasn’t socialized to it. We’re always eager to show the dog we’re safe, and sometimes the best way to do that is by giving them plenty of space.
Related: How to Muzzle Train Your Dog
Give the dog a safe place
I’m a big fan of crates, especially for nervous dogs (check out my favorite giant breed crate here). Before bringing Kaani home, I put a crate in the corner of our bedroom. This way, he was away from the bed and had his own area.
Then, I put some towels over the crate to block out stimuli so that he could get as relaxed as possible. I left the front of the crate uncovered because I still wanted him to see me at times. I wasn’t in his normal view, but if I walked in or out of the room he could see me, and I wouldn’t surprise him.
Some dogs will need the entire crate covered, but this worked really well for him. A little fan, some music or a white noise machine, and a stuffed Kong made it his favorite place to go.
After potty breaks, he’d sprint back upstairs and crawl into his crate to relax.
Ignore the dog
This is so, so important. Eye contact can be seen as threatening for any dog, but especially a fearful one. Pretend like he’s not around and let him come to you.
Even when we took potty breaks, I wouldn’t look at or acknowledge Kaani for the first few days. He would occasionally sniff my leg or rub against me, but I let him figure me out on his own.
Remember, the crate is a no touch, no eye contact place for your fearful dog. You don’t want him to feel threatened in any way while he’s crated.
At this point, Kaani doesn’t mind me reaching into his crate when he’s in there (to refill his water bowl or something similar), but he cowers if Nick tries to. So Nick makes sure to give him plenty of space.
Keep things positive
Never, ever punish a dog for growling. Growling is a dog’s warning sign before a more serious warning or potential bite. If you punish growling, the dog will eventually skip that step and go straight to a more severe fear response.
Talk in soft, happy tones—this is typically easier for women than men—and try to keep the environment as relaxed as possible.
Treats, treats, and more treats
To gain Kaani’s trust, I started by casually walking by Kaani’s crate a tossing a few treats in. Every time I was going to be near his crate, he got a treat. Don’t stick your fingers in (especially if you’re worried about a fight fear response). With slow, swift movements, gently toss the treat and keep walking.
After a day, he would come out of his crate to check me out while I was sitting on the bed.
Same thing. Toss treats his way without making eye contact. The next day, he was taking treats from my hand, again without eye contact (I may have lured him with cheesy fries and bacon).
Obviously, I couldn’t make cheesy fries and bacon the main treat I offered Kaani to work on trust. But no regular treat was going to do the trick. He snubbed his nose at every training treat I had in the house.
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Related: Dr. Marty & Freedom Service Dogs: Why I’m Obsessed
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Don’t forget gut health
Kaani had a lot of stomach issues when we first got him. There were two nights that he suddenly pooped all over his crate and needed a backyard hose down. Poor guy just started softly whimpering after it happened.
Dr. Marty sent us some ProPower Plus—a blend of 14 different health and digestive ingredients designed to optimize your dog’s body.
This instantly made a difference in his gut health (no more runny poops!), and I’ve started using it for Atka as well—who also has tummy issues sometimes.
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Hi, your article is great and useful what you have mentioned understanding a dogs behavior when he/she is fearful your tips will help to gain the trust of a dog thanks for posting.
What a great tip on growling, I’ve never thought of it through the lens of the dog doing us a favor of letting us know something is bothering them rather than jumping straight into attack mode.
Thanks for sharing your great knowledge about dogs with us. It’s so useful!
great pointers!
Thank you so much for the great advice, I will keep them in mind.
Your article was very useful. I love your ideas, thanks for sharing, looking forward to your coming blogs.
This article is so well written. The ‘taking it slow’ part is so important! Really can’t stress enough on it. Being a dog trainer, I’ve come across so many people trying to force their dogs to face their fears thereby making it worse! Giving a fearful dog the ‘flight’ option is so important. All the points you’ve written is valid and correct.
I have a fearful one. She’s not fearful of me but the world around us. She doesn’t like noises, or people really. She’s ok with other dogs. Some people are ok, she chooses. She’s a beautiful and great friend 😁 Any advice welcome. Socializing is not her thing.
Great ideas…thanks for posting!
This is very helpful. I feel like, all pet owners should know this. There are times especially if you are a new pet owner that you get too excited to hold your pets. In most cases, it’ll agitate them since you’re new to them. I like the ignore the dog tip, it always works for me especially with new dogs that I encounter.
This is such helpful information about dealing with a very fearful dog. Great tip about not punishing growling, that the dog may stop growling but go straight to something else like a bite.
Love & biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Thank you for the great article . We got a pyr doodle mix ( our first big dog experience) when he was 8 weeks. Tried to crate train him but he would get very anxious when left in the crate with gate closed. He’s 14 weeks now and although he would sit in the crate for short periods with gate open he still can’t tolerate the gate closed . He is almost housebroken . Should I still insist in getting him crate trained ?